How Does Healing Work, Does Reflection Help and Why Accept?



Road to recovery is never a straight line. There are days you feel liberated and like it is the end of your sufferings and dark days. You will come to believe that finally your prayers have been answered by God and the space in your chest does not hurt anymore. But the next day you're crying your lungs out like it is the most pain you’ve felt in a lifetime. You begin to question if any attempts to be better, any effort put in to be better, all energy invested to be better was ever worth it or even real to begin with. But that same night you’d be laughing out loud again with you best friends cause of the sarcasm filled conversations and jokes. You will have a “life is good” moment.

This is life. This isn’t a movie. It doesn’t feel all happy and perfect the moment you start healing and getting better. You’ll relapse. You’ll question your self-worth. You’ll give up. You’ll get back. You’ll laugh until you snort. You’ll cut yourself again. You’ll feel grateful to be alive. You’ll think about ending it all. You’ll blame yourself. You’ll feel alive. This is how things work, with lots of complications, complex situations, dilemmas. And we call it life.

Reflection is a vital part of healing. Often, we just force ourselves to not think about things that bother us because we will begin to feel again. Your emotions come back flowing in like a dam just opened. You’ll feel like screaming and crying. You’d feel like cursing the world and its people for how unfair your life has been. But when you make the decision to sit down and reflect knowing it might cause shit to go down, that is you taking responsibility of your actions. That is you wanting to work on your problems. That is you wanting to be a better version of yourself. Do it as much as you can. Indulge yourself in it. Don’t overindulge yourself.

Accept that you are not perfect. No one is nearly as perfect as they think they are. We all screw up shit. We all do things that we are not proud of. That we would not dare admit publicly. You will have flaws, lots of it. The tough part is of course learning to embrace your flaws. Most of the time this is mistaken as sitting back and relaxing, because you just got to be the way you are. However, embracing your flaws does not mean you don’t work on what needs to be fixed. The kind of flaws or weaknesses that doesn’t add value to your life or function as a tool that hurts your loved ones, you got to work on that. That is not a flaw to be just accepted but changed. The ones you can’t change however, you just accept it. Always question yourself how right you are because you can be so wrong at things that you are so certain about. Question yourself, “what if they are right?”. Dig in deep and find answers. There is no wrong and right. There is only wrong and less wrong.

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